Autism: the elephant in the room
Autism is a type of neurodivergence. It is not a deadly disease but we do need more time to process every single situation. Sometimes, we suffer from mental stress leading to melt down or shot down. Most of time, it is very difficult to verbalise what happened in our mind.
July 2023.....
Assessment for Autism
After a period of frustrated time, my GP referred me to a team of Psychiatrists and Therapists. I had 3 appointments with the Psychiatrist Emma. She did think that I needed extra support for personality disorders, anger and so on due to childhood abuses. She also recommended me to go through a scrutiny assessment on Autism. Because some of the support only autism association could provide. Also, it would help them and myself to sort out what to do next.
Alex, my assessor, arranged 3 meetings with me. We talked about family life, the relationship with relatives, school life, learning difficulties, social activities and so on. Paddy, the senior assessor, gave me a performance assessment that he observed me the way I collected information from given materials and the summery by my own words afterwards. The process was not a good fun. Sometimes, it brought up huge anxiety disturbing my life. It could be painful when I recalled the memory about being bullied at school and at work. Both Alex and Paddy were very professional and helpful if I needed breaks during the sections. Paddy handed my diagnose to me on 1st September 2023 that I am indeed autistic.
It is a relief that I am autistic. It answers me lots of questions that I have been puzzling for decades. However, a late diagnose doesn't mean that I can take it better than a child. I still need to learn about my unique treats. At lest, I know more about myself. I decide to do something to support autistic population.
Are you AUTISTIC?
The first time people mentioned autism to me outside of my pharmacist training was my English teacher, Pascal Andrea Pruvost. While having English courses with this tough teacher wasn't easy for me. He found that There was something very different in me comparing with other students, especially I obviously struggled with crowds and noise. Sometimes, I just melted down or shot down.
Pascal was a lovely teacher. He forced me to develop a good explanation even argumentation in a conversation. That was a crucial technique if I wanted to survive and be successful in the West.I told him that the definition of autism would be a patient with impaired intelligence and learning disability. He noticed me that the field of autism had been developed a lot. As a Neuroscientist, I should update my knowledge in the filed and think about it deeply.
It supposed to be Pascal's 68th Birthday. He passed away on 19th March 2020 during COVID in Taiwan. The night before he passed away, he messaged me and we had a wee chat on phone. I woke up in a shocking phone call from our friend Bruno in Taiwan. Bruno delivered this heartbreaking news to me. I cried a lot. Pascal helped me going through the grieving of my late sister in just 5 months after I moved to Edinburgh. It was very painful and hit me harshly in every way. However, Pascal texted me and phoned me to make sure I was alright even if there is 8 hours difference between Taipei City and Edinburgh. This time, I was on my own to deal with the sadness of his pass.
Dear Pascal, I missed you so much. At least, you are no longer in pain. Hopefully, you meet my sister and still gives her French lessons.
Happy Birthday!
Love you!